I was supposed to be working on Advice #3 this week, but life happened. However, this week was not a total waste because I have already decided on that one thing I really need to change about myself in order to improve my quality of life and my relationships with others. I must work on my patience. Just so we are all clear, the definition of impatience is as follows, “having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked.” Yep. That is me.
I am sure this is no surprise to many of my friends and family. I can be described as many wonderful things… vivacious, athletic, smart, but patient is not an adjective that suits me. I have been impatient since I can remember and not just with others, but with myself as well. I am a bit of a perfectionist and I know that this is where some of my impatience stems from, but not all of it.
So… here is what I am going to do. First, I am going to have a “impatience diary.” Some people keep food diaries or exercise diaries, not me. I am going to write down (or try to) every time that I become impatient. I know what you’re thinking… how many pages does this diary have? I am going to log the time of day, the person and the circumstance to try and gain better insight into my patterns of impatience. The second thing that I would like to do, is go to therapy to address this concern of mine. There are plenty of self-help websites and books/articles that I could reference, but I am hoping that a therapist will be able to give me a different POV and other insights that inanimate objects cannot. Lastly, I am going to work long and hard on building the virtue that they call patience, hopefully with some degree of success.
Here are some of the reasons that I want to do this. While I am able to *mostly* appropriately handle, cope with, vent, etc. my impatience, that is not always the case. Unfortunately, it is those that I care for the most that bear the brunt of my impatience. I have often been known to say, “I use up all my patience at work.” While my employment does require quite a lot of patience, allowing myself to respond without reserve to irritating situations in casual circumstances is not fair to my friends or family. Furthermore, the frustration of being constantly irritated and impatient is not fair or healthy for me. It creates undue amounts of stress, which therefore impacts a plethora of other things–most notably my attitude. By learning how to manage and more appropriately cope with my patience problem, I will become a better supervisor, a better friends and a better version of me.
Just to give you all a glimpse into my lack of patience, below you will find a list (and by no means is it comprehensive) of things that make me impatient. Enjoy.
- Slow walkers. For the love of God move your feet or get out of my way!
- People with no concept of spacial awareness.
- Tourists (I feel like this is fair living in NYC).
- Baby Strollers. They are a.l.w.a.y.s in the way, always!
- When I don’t understand something as close as possible to immediately.
- When I have to repeat myself.
- When I have shown someone how to do something, yet they continue to do it incorrectly.
- When people brush up against me (this is not always–I can’t quite figure out why sometimes it bothers me and other times not—> impatience diary will help)
- When I have to wait (in almost any circumstance)
- Traffic (specifically in NYC)
I know that you may be thinking that some of these are reasonable situations to become impatient and I agree. However, the degree to which I become impatient is not reasonable. And if you have ever been on the receiving end of my impatience you will likely agree.
So, friends, sit tight while I begin my journey on the road to change. Please check out the blog next Sunday for Advice #3. This is my journey and….
This is thirty.